Computer Crash Terror

I'm conferenced out this evening, just struggling to write something/anything.

Remember how I was going to write about fear for this roundtable I'm proposing (for a whole different conference)? I experienced a moment of pristine, twenty-first-century, first-world terror earlier this evening.

I was grading papers, merrily adding edits and comments to a student paper in Word, when suddenly I realized no button I pressed was having any effect on the screen at all. Total lock. I did the usual things Windows users do: control/alt/delete, escape, nothing. I closed the lid  (putting the laptop to sleep) and opened it. Blank screen. Total lock.

Last resort: I forced a shutdown with the power button, waited, pressed power again--

And watched as the computer's usual startup cycle stalled. A series of terrifying messages, all in that things-are-really-screwed-now old style DOS computer font cropped up: Windows boot failed. More fail messages followed. Finally a screen--not even blue but nihilist gray: "Windows has failed to load due to an error. Insert your Windows disk to effect repairs."

I have no disk. Like most people in 2019, I downloaded Windows 10.

Now, I have a backup or two of my stuff--but it's about a month out of date now. So much grading, so much writing, so much research has happened since then. And then the cost of a new computer at this point--well, thinking about it gave me the deep dark willies.

I shut down, unplugged, took out the battery, counted to 30--look, I have no idea if this is effective or not. It's the kind of desperate ritual magic we do when it looks like our computer has died. I put the battery back in, plugged in, and pressed power.

The computer started--loading everything very slowly. But it started. And sure enough, there was an update pending. I downloaded the update, restarted, and so far so good.

But before I did that I scooted everything I could over to a flashdrive. You betcha that a full backup will happen as soon as I get home Sunday.

Until then, I'm behind on grading, I'm writing my blog late, but I'm grateful to be writing on my computer at all.

No more shocks like that, please, Mr. Computer. I have enough fear and dread and deep dark willies.