Weary

 It turns out the list of forbidden words amounted to three: diversity, equity, and inclusion. At least, that's the official case.

First--I find that hard to believe. Hundreds of pages had those words?

Second--even if that's the case, it's still unconscionable censorship. 

I'm weary. 

The Trump-Vance-Zelenskyy debacle today in the Oval Office encapsulates my frustration. The bits I've seen--even those touted by Trump defenders as proof of Zelenskyy's fault--all seem like ignorant bullies being ignorant bullies. All the core Trump tropes are on display: arrogance (chiding Ukraine as if it were a child), bad faith (marveling that Zelenskyy thinks Putin is untrustworthy--when the whole world knows that's so), pettiness (the bizarre "did you ever say thank you?"), and of course good old-fashioned DARVO ("I think it's disrespectful..."). 

But truly--no matter how obviously cruel or unprofessional Trump seems in any given public scenario, people leap to his defense, framing Zelenskyy somehow as the one suggesting inappropriate things. 

I concur with the frequent observation: if Trump et al. were actually, literally pro-Putin double agents, they would surely be doing exactly what we've seen them doing. I take that back: a professional double agent would be subtler. 

I just don't know. 

I read an account from NPR reporter Zach Mack about the year he spent trying to wean his father away from conspiracy theories. His dad even made a $10,000 bet with him that 10 conspiracy-theory predictions would come true by 2024--$1,000 a prediction. None did. By the time his dad had repaid Mack, he had driven away his wife of 40 years as well as Mack's lesbian sister. His father only doubled down on his beliefs. Mack reflects:

I don't know what comes next. Things fell apart so quickly, but also slowly; as the years passed, cracks started opening up, eventually turning into a chasm. In the end, we didn't make it.

I think about that quote a lot.  Things fell apart so quickly, but also slowly. I think we as a country may be falling apart. I think the next few months will tell the tale.

I don't know what comes next.